Not Everyone Beats Me

I managed not to get beat this time. If I did all the time I'd be a loser! I'd therefore would have to find a shirt saying the name Holden Caulfield or however his name is the fictional character in The Catcher In The Rye. Such a crazy simpleton kind of book anyone could read and fame came to Salinger. Just think my blog could replace such a book it doesn't take a genius to write such a blog which by the way is the name of my other blog entitled It Doesn't Take A Genius. I'm enthused about these blogs something void in my life after having lived a life so similar to....oh no....never mind.

Plowing Through

It is crud. It's no fun being down in the deepest shadows of the game. I can put this thing on hold and wait for the recuperation whatever ails me. But quit the game? It could happen. I doubt it will happen any time soon though. The addiction for winning never leaves me. And don't we all play to get that next high? Being addicted to winning isn't such a bad thing. I've won too many games to call it quits. Slumps happen but they don't last forever. I'm in a dive but I can and I will pull out of it. It isn't a matter of marking my words it's a matter of what is; it is in the cards for me to find the end of the light do tell.

No Man's Land

I'm certainly not on my way towards the championships. Oh well like I said I'm waiting to play in the zone and they always come around although at times they seem like they never will. I do know the great Bill Walsh the late coach of the Forty Niners of the West Coast of San Francisco couldn't play football anymore and he wasn't a legendary player either but before he passed on he left me a message and told me a little about his demeanor before he died. It was on a radio show so I'm not just making this up. He did good this man Bill Walsh in this world and if there were anyone so great as an inspirational coach it was this man Bill Walsh. He gives me inspiration. If there is anything I can write to inspire others as players at chess then let me at it even though I am not legendary or a high achiever as a player at chess.

Get Over It

It never suits me well to lose a game. This one I abandoned. I didn't see my coming back from being seven points behind my mind just wasn't there reminding me of Roberto Duran when he was in a huge prize money fight against Sugar Ray Leonard but quit; his reason was that he had a steak before the fight and felt too bogged down to put forth his best or anywhere near his best so he just quit. That is sad. Players do that against me too when they fall to far behind and just give up. I hate losing more than I like winning. Joe Montana chose those words when I met him on the air on a talk show. He was and is the champion not I. But with the way I am I can get over it the sting and embarrassment and indignity of losing doesn't last long. I say rebound!

Staying In Shape

Hibernating indoors all winter long doesn't cut it for the avid chess player. The greatest legend ever in chess Bobby Fischer remarked how he plays tennis to stay in shape whereupon Dick Cavett interviewing him notice Bobby Fischer must spend an incredible amount of time sitting down playing chess. It was another high level ranking player I had met on the tennis court by the name of Walter Browne the chess player and hall of fame, grand master champion also staying in shape on the tennis courts. No it wasn't his tennis game I had asked him about it was his chess game. Anyhow to make a long story short today I managed to crush a 1326 rated player as he advanced into my turf as they usually like to do to attack my defenses. The Chinese of China must have had a good ideal when they put up the Great Wall Of China. Today's game was kind of like an exhibition game nothing to get nervous about no one lost their ratings just maybe a little ego bruising. Regardless playing for ratings or not I can and do get real nervous at times it is the nature of the game.

1458 Rated

I was getting the best of him had him against the ropes my nerves were fine maybe I would had played better had I been nervous but no I had to hand over my queen I saw it was about to request a take back but too late opponent plucked out my queen like a duck in a barrel end of game I threw in the towel that was it a fatal error upon my part I wanted to beat this guy but I muffed it he didn't outclass me I did it to myself oh well next game there will be another time another game another chance for my golden opportunity. Talk about a post game blog no? Yes! What a shame.

1074 Rated

This is kind of fun but the nerves so far have not gone away like they have when on the air speaking about various news topics. It was then when I was very nervous but pretty much I don't get nervous as a caller dealing with the professionals on those news talk shows on the radio. Neither do I get nervous while playing the chess machines even though they are better players these chess machines as they don't make blunders or errors like low rated beginners on line but the advance beginners make me nervous; they remind me of Buster Douglas the unknown fighter/boxer to the general public when he fought the great Mike Tyson and knocked him out and down for the full count! Upsets do happen and when they do there is excitement in the air. My last opponent a few minutes ago never was in the game having made no out right errors like handing over any pieces for free he just made basic errors like not castling because he allowed me to trade queens in the beginning where the rules of chess forbid a king from castling once it the king is moved the cardinal rule of elementary chess. Nevertheless I was at a heighten awareness that I could have gone down in defeat as I did just some time ago against a lesser rated chess player. I do hope God willing I'm not brain dead. Let me say I know Roger Federer the number one ranked tennis player has had his medical problems but still he is far healthier than I and most people for that matter he rocks. I love being on the air with famous people Roger Federer I say I do want to talk to you on the air even if I'm only a news talk caller.

A No Zone Time The Ungodly Hours

The sleeping pill over the counter Melatonin is designed to deal with insomniacs like me but the mood to play online chess was on unfortunately my finest hours of skill do not come at this time. And my left foot is at a discomfort a sign that the game won't go down my way. What can I say? But as I say my objective is wait for the zone to come around and then will I play the better game and the numbers will come up in my favor. It can happen to some of the best of players. Right now I must be typing 20 words a minute too slow to react fast enough in a game of chess. Forty five words per minute is my so called normal time. An older age can catch up with one look at Muhammad Ali it did with him his boxing skills are long gone. He might be better taking up chess there's no upper body strength needed to play the chess game just intellect and he does still have the intelligence I'm convince he doesn't have dementia anymore than I do.

No Excuses

The player was a 999 rated player and he did no wrong not an error my error was the same mistake I was running out of time didn't realize my time again for the second game in a row. Opponent might have been a ringer kind of like maybe me ready to be on the rise soon if he wants to be but settled down rated low so enough wins can be made. The second mistake is that I didn't take my performance enhancing caffeine drug thought I could maybe wrap it up on my own power but guess again. We were going at it toe to toe neither one of us making error except I failed to note the timer again dumb me enough already with the rap it's obvious I should be more serious....enough clowning around. The caffeine would had put me over the top easily to win. It is quite legal but I should not be losing these games like I have said these low rated players don't often make errors I do know the professional players in tennis and other major athletic games do make errors and that can cost them the game. But I will live to see another win to live free of my sin then you might see a little grin but for now where have I been?

Frozen In Time The Heart Was Pounding No Rhyme

I lost this one I was winning the battle but the nerves the excitement the pounding and thumping of my heart took away my efficiency who is to know my time ran out I was too slow to know time was fleeting lost track of time too bad. The caffeine was taken hours ago I didn't load up but that's okay a cup or two cups of coffee would had made the difference I was drifting off to somewhere maybe dreamland although none of us made any errors except for the fact I lost track of the timer the time ran out on my timer clock. He was one tough opponent for a 1176 rated player close to my ratings an upset on his part I was too slow my opponent was giving me plenty moves on me to think about I was swallowing up his attack consuming his positions but my speed in moving lacked he won the game I lived to be lame what a shame my game did wane does rap go with chess a good nap can put me to the map and then I can be another good chap put the cat on my lap even though I feel like a sap!

The UnGodly Hour

Yes at four thirty in the morning would you believe I played a game still lingering on Melatonin or sleeping pills taken some six hours ago? Opponent was around the same rating as I maybe several points higher making only one fatal error having handing over his queen to blow the game for himself. I think I lost only one game in six or seven games. Despite the ungodly hour I was in the mood despite the lack of caffeine but yes my mind could have been sharper as my confidence was fair but not great going into the game it could have been excellent but it was only fair a slight error on my part losing or falling behind with a minus pawn and then I fell for the old queen to in your face to your firing pawn take it's queen I could not or be in check kind of thing my thinking or calculating was hazy were it not for his blunder who knows? But I caught it in my sights the target had to be plucked off before he could take back and the sitting target was his queen a sitting duck.

With Every Game

With every game I feel the reason or the need to make my notation as to the feeling of each game and what happened right or wrong good or bad the pressures or not the win or the lost. It is a game it is win or lose tie or abandon run or hide or simply feel mercy and not show victory when the opponent is mismatched but that isn't usually my problem all my opponents mostly have come to slay me so to speak just a little make believe I'm in a little war. The game of chess is very much like a simulation of two kingdoms at war clashing with knights and kings in command with powerful pieces in rank such as the queen the most powerful piece in the kingdom and so forth. May the general audience see the game for what it is just another way to pass the time of day and be among of the ways to play before we get too old and gray or get deported to Mexico and I say hey my name is not Jose my parents and grand parents lived and live by the San Francisco Bay we have learn to pay our way I do wish I learn Spanish so I could spell the word correctly oh lay!

It's In The Mood

Puff the magic dragon came to puff my thoughts away to dust after I spent a good deal of thought into today's entry. It happens. Now that is frustration. Just when I thought I had the market corner on the prevention of frustration free poof there went my wise thoughts of widsom in my chess action today. To sum it up what I lost the game of chess will be played for quality time rather than gutting it out in terms of long but inefficient hours of practice time. My mood to play must be there this is when I play the better game and the desire is more burning to play at a higher level. And that can lead to more games played! Burn outs happen due to too many frustrating experiences and we wouldn't want that would we? Of course not.

When An Earthquake Strikes

It never leaves or goes away when one strikes of any significant magnitude. My first experience was in the early fifties in Oakland California in grade school it hit the building rumbled and shook it will never go away to this day I remember even though it was so long ago half a century and more years ago fifth grade 1958 or there abouts when the class room was vibrating as though a huge machine beneath the floor was grabbing the whole school with a powerful vibration. It was not normal. Later that same day at night the after shocks rocked my crib yes I was too big to be in a crib but I made use of it until I could no longer fit. It was a very eerie feeling a disturbing one that was wild and potentially relentless if God wanted it to go loose and crush everything around me I knew the restraint God practiced God was only teasing but I knew the power with which the house could be flatten in a heart beat at that time. The fear was very disturbing. Nightmares as a child was always disturbing and then came a reality when the earthquake came to rumble and shake and move us around like little rag dolls. Another thirty years would roll around before a bigger one would hit the Loma Prieta but then I was much older and less fearful as an adult. But I was worried beyond a doubt.

Milk Shake

Hand to me a milk shake and guaranteed I will shake it for you another game another nerve shaking mind moving nerve shattering experience but in this case the last game paid off having beaten a 1330 or there about rated player higher than my 1228 ratings. It's my fourth win in a row but only an exhibition game no gain but then no loss had I lost the game in terms of ratings. This last player played it to the end didn't buckle in and give up made me play it to the end and slipping while dragging that queen clear across the board was a possibility but I had my nerve and didn't shake the pieces off the board just moved my queen in for the kill. It's nap time for me time to restore my energies and get it on once rejuvenated. My leg is at a discomfort but it was the caffeine pill that gave me the boost. I'm taking more pills but what else am I to do? I could be prosecuted for not getting the proper medical care for myself should I neglect my own well being. It's a crazy world. May God let me live it to the best of my ability.

Chessman Pro

I use to nickname it Toy R Us because my son bought it at that store two or three years ago. But Chessman Pro is the formal name for it. Engine search says it is for the occasional player and at most this is what I am an occasional player. This machine beats me more than I would like it to but it doesn't make errors and I must be sharp and not in my insomnia state of mind and when it does beat me I don't get sore or I don't get nervous like when I go online to play live players from around the world. In the early 90's I could beat the machine called Challenger it had a green color chess board but it played with the same route program the current one I use the Chessman Pro switches up and varies the opening positions and so my calculations are not from pure memory making me or forcing me to think rather than just memorize and if I don't and remain in a zombie like state of mind I'm history. And so you see I'm not all nerves galore when I practice or play chess when playing the chess machines in fact not at all unless a bet is on and I'm being watched and so far that doesn't happen. To the general reader with less than little knowledge than I about the game of chess a large audience to this blog can come to appreciate the art of chess in the modern era a game that rises and falls but is here to stay for quite some time; a long time to come. Chess western style will be gone when the stars all melt away.

Excitement

Despite my nerves being shot due to that last game having played a 1331 higher rated player and slipping to make an error a dumb slip putting my queen in jeopardy I allowed my opponent to move ahead by two pawns this cannot happen playing a higher rated player this cannot happen but it did happen. Opponent was screwing with me toying with my two rooks and king down on my turf with me struggling for my very survival fending off attack after attack upon my king despite my two rooks defending with my pawns in formation frozen in their staging berths but then my opponent must have been hypnotized by my slow response waiting for my sluggish response moving it's king into harm's way and POW checkmate before he could blink my rook moved in like a knife through his heart piercing his vital nerve his heart his king I could spot this open vulnerable exposure for me to instantly spring into responsive killing mode to make the plunge through his heart for instant death. I could not help for yelling in my surprise in victory with me being the underdog.

Nerves

He or she was a 1214 rated player enough to beat me I was always in lead but golly I'm all nerves time to come down and relax. It was a clean win none of us made any errors but I was without nerves. No I was not cool calm and collected moving so ever slowly being careful as I am now at this blog. The ability and skill of the players better than I do make me humble thank you. I've enough more than enough players to give me a run for my money. No room to brag here. I don't have all day and all night to play chess my nerves couldn't take it if I could my nerves would be of steel and I'd improve all the more but my practice time is so very limited. At least I'm putting in quality time with my best focus and enough rest to put forth my better energies. What a mind game.

Playing In The Zone

I did it. I was playing in the zone beating a 1330 higher rated player today this afternoon. I could do no wrong. My opponent slipped by a knight and a bishop the old sucker punch trick played on less skilled players like me zone in on with two black color pieces to hook my king and rook an elementary move played on inexperienced chess players like myself but I counteracted and made moves never before executed before on my part. This is what a struggling chess player like myself live for that day when one can do no wrong and the losing streak for the time being is suspended. Didn't the New Orleans Saints pull off a similar win over the Colts a few days ago the underdogs being a five point deficit to win?

They Only Began

If it were easy I would not be frazzled dazzled. But I am. So there. I led my last two opponents and they ran but they were trying me and it wasn't easy as if I could sing a song and dance at the same time talk on the phone and beat these players it could not happen that way. There is nothing like being able to relax after a game or two better to win but win or lose a good relaxation beats all the times when such luxury could not be afforded? What happens? Nerves galore that is what happens. People become forced to quit and if they cannot as in war where surrender is not an option God only knows the consequences.

The Late Afternoon

Usually I'm better later in the day earlier I'm struggling to maintain my composure and my energy level. For instance I was struggling with my taxes and W-2 form tracking down a paycheck I had earn on a class action union grievance thing for 703. dollars which was factoring in on taxes due. My foot was at a discomfort due to the need for more medication and so the taxes it was prompted by my wife to get this out of the way a chess game at the time would have been poorly played but I waited for the PD medication to kick in and thus it began working and my chess game therefore was not a disaster having played a 1075 rated player and mowing him down pretty much. I was more confident going into the game that I could possibly play one of my better games. I notice none of the advertisers are approaching me to endorse any particular brand of chess games or products nevertheless I say wear steel armour the choice of the knights before going into battle and your queen will knight you Sir Mr. Chess Player. Now I'm being silly. Forgive me.

Pins and Needles

A 1062 rated player still can give me pins and needles the drama to keep my attention focus. I was never really in trouble but I didn't want to make any foolish errors. But you want to talk about nerves? It's that 911 call of a law enforcement driver with his family with a stuck accelerator out of control speeding at 120 miles an hour into an intersection all caught on a 911 call a fatal accident oh my Lord. That is a tragedy losing a game in chess is not. I can value my situation as it is no need to be fighting in a war scratching and clawing every inch of the way for survival.

Jitters

I told you so. I ran out of time forgot to notice the being the slower player normally too bad. I was under constant attack she was good yes opponent was a female I think but I was wittering her away but time was going against me my calculations took too much time and the concentration didn't flow fast enough by George. Trying my best just wasn't good enough. She was rated 1184 but was playing like a 1384 rated player she made few errors if any maybe a minor tactical error. The drama was so thick one could cut it with a chainsaw. There was no discomfort of my leg no shaking except for a little of the hand when I began this blog. There was no playing in the zone but more of a playing in the bog rather than the zone pity me or may God have mercy upon my soul.