My Lyrics Succeeded

That is about it. The rest is a wipe out. I'm tired played poorly lost and feeling bad the hope was gone made silly errors my time was not the good thing is that I do get over my loses in a good time the depression lasts when....the engine search looks for solutions an aid to be sure it finds the way like a guidance positional satellite finds the way and spells it out in plain simple step by step in every detail the way. Even though I failed in my rated games and went down clowning dumb and stupid filled with little or no performance what? What can I say?

At least engine search accepted my lyrics it did not reject my prose or my message so cross my fingers hope to die let any diction come forth to fill my convictions.

Still Too Early?

All I know is that I felt game enough this was a worthy opponent experienced against higher rated players seasoned to beat other 1200 plus players and I was giving him a good game almost whatever had the lead but his momentum in his attack were going well I was unable to regroup or send off an attack despite my superior forces. It was a good game although the cuss word filled my mind in war and peace hell is when heaven waits. No it doesn't make sense to me but then again losing doesn't either. He has his share of losing against the bigger guns as well the bigger guns I duck and run and take cover.

The Worst Hour

It is the ungodly hours in the dead of the morning but the better players let me know there is a further level of skill above that of mine whether I rise up to the occasion is unknown I have no ideal but chances are slim to none I will become a chess champion only in science fiction. It is in the cards as Michael Chang once said if he thought he could be number one ranked when Pete Sampas was ranked number one in tennis. A man has got to know his limitations as Clint Eastwood would say. I ain't going to no championship says Robert H. the author of this blog. But it is within the realm I can rise higher in ratings but then that remains to be seen I've no concrete visions of rising in ratings if it happens through hard work or whatever then let it be. Sing it. Meanwhile let me have my fun too getting beaten isn't going to cut it. The Giants baseball team here in San Francisco sure had a good old time making it to the World Series for the first time in eight years they won the pennant. Now what the hell is a pennant it's been so long since they did like eight years? Isn't that something a woman or man wears around their neck? Pendant is different.

My Finer Hour

It's in the afternoon yet my nerves are anxious my seriousness is on the alert and I don't want to lose this one even if it is only a exhibition game no points won or lost but I do not take these games lightly. Just think how I would be under tournament conditions yet tournaments I have not played don't particularly have plans in playing one either but who will know I will be a much better player playing white if I do play one it is too far off into the distant future for tournament chess games for me if at all.

The Finist Hour Was The Ungodly Hour

Why is this so? Because I was playing well the exhibition games no nerves of steel to have the edge and lesser rated players wanted to play me and I was playing up to par toying around while relaxed playing chess was a change of pace for me this time this morning no sweat no element of threat breathing down my throat in fact I was so far ahead in a game I figured I'd throw my opponent a loop and offer to draw in this game and he/she took the offer why get slaughtered when an offer to accept a draw was offered by me? It made me feel good I felt I did a good deed in lessening his bitterness if any in losing that game. I felt like a humanitarian. And that is not such a bad thing to experience.

Why Do I Do IT?

Not all my battles are loses if they were I'd find another game. Chess is a game short of war for there are battles in each game played and personally speaking I do not like to lose. Like real war chess has become accelerated the practice tools are the chess playing computer or simply put the chess machines that calculate and what human is going to out calculate a chess calculator? Anybody can do it one needs not be a genius to enjoy the game it is all about picking and choosing your opponent. It is for the entertainment value interacting with humans from all around the world having this one element in common with which to communicate with a universal language with a few simple basic rules to follow and a whole new language is there for the taking. Each and every move on the chess board is unique where one player response to the other opponent's move.

Vietnam War Syndrome

When playing in a slump it is like fighting a war to no avail we as Americans could not win a war that was that was not designed to be won. I'm not going to rehash what which has been mentioned over and over again but no one wants to be involved in a quagmire it just not make plain sense. I know why many of the returning American soldiers came back from war all crazy and many insane. But yes this blog isn't about war and peace it is about chess. Clearly a feeling of triumph in winning is good a defeat goes down in infamy not a time to relish. The Chinese backed country of Vietnam was backed by the communist China a land so foreign and not our turf. However we never considered the victor as being the nation of China in war. Yes I am not here to discuss the war the focus is on chess. I lost this round this battle but I shall return and return a victor and no I am not the former General Douglas MacArthur reincarnated. Please allow me to introduce a little humor stoic and stone faces brought on by severe seriousness is a sure way to bring a house down.

Back To The Drawing Board

The Kaiser sleep clinic sleep technician admonished me for keeping these hours look at the time the ungodly hours as he says it is not normal to be up at these hours and he says this is within my control as to my insomnia I may or may not use it as an excuse. All I know is that I'm alive enough to be jarred and filled with revenge from the beating I last took not from being tired as is from being soundly beaten my alertness was enough my absorbed recognition of the game from playing the chess machines is lacking and rusty they helped me before and there was not the humiliation when I did lose to them as there is when I play a human online. A computer chess playing machine as I have done before will help my game it does and it did for Magnus the current number one rated chess champion in the world.

Getting back to the Kaiser technician; he says stay away from the Internet read a book but don't let the Internet cause me to lose sleep it is not healthy he feels to live this kind of life up all night and dosing off by day and by night in frequency. All I know is that I'm bound to find something some point in time to make me feel proud again when it comes you and I will know.

Waiting For The Moment

Now is not the time to further run down my ratings. Why play when the game isn't on practice I say when the charm is on let the hunger build up for the game when the better game is for the taking. It works pretty much for me most if not all of the time. Prevent depression wait for the moment until the bad guys or the bad spirits find another place to go. Life will be more enjoyable.

The Probe

I'm not scoring too well on the preliminaries namely another game which can test how I will perform in chess and that game is a video game. And so it goes. I've gotten myself in a four game losing streak. This is not suppose to happen. The more games I lose in a row the greater the depression I really hate losing more than I like winning. Joe Montana the great quarterback said that original sounding quote to me personally on the air to me. He was the champion of major league proportions while I was not but just a recreational games player. Oh well....sighing. You think that it is my mother drawing closer to her maker or something....anything that is causing this chess slump? It's time to take out the garbage and it's too cool for shorts. I'm going out there with shorts anyhow I'm too lazy to change right now.