The Agony And The Ecstasy

Wow this blog just won't  go away just when I thought the very life of it was over and hovering near death it was like an angel came to rescue the heart and soul what was left if any.  Death was so apparent. Most of us chess players know when a game is over yet many of us hang on despite  what little hope there is to savage a game.   In fact in major league sports it happens all the time.  They play out the game despite there is zero to no chance in winning.  The past few weeks I was in my worst chess slump ever despite a revival attempt by this television preacher man.  He spoke to me as he did to his millions of his audience and I sense his coaching but received the battle of my life another thrashing of my worst.  I'm not getting any younger and an old man like myself can't take much more.  Don't make any mistake about it the young whipper snappers are in the drivers seat.  The very young  ranked number one player of twenty one Magnus Carlsen looks like a new sprung baby he  could be out there for a very long time to come watch his style of play for years to come.  But I just had a game of all games it was a thriller I was in the zone but didn't know that I was exactly I felt very right at this crazy hour of the morning to take on any  player that came along the highest level rated player to challenge me.  I felt ready.  He played and  mixed it up sent me into an unconventional game a pattern of moves I had never used.  My game was adapted to his which usually gets me in deep trouble.  It was a difficult dance to do but  I had to calculate there was no advantage to the memory work over all except for a few basic ones which I took advantage of.  Games like this is what keeps me plugging along.  From a state of brain dead to brain alive is  what is in short order.   It wasn't a major victory this player was capable of cleaning out my clock but this time I cleaned out his first he didn't make any errors that was the game it was throughout the entire game from the get go I was with confidence giving him all the breaks and take backs he requested.  I confess however the agony and the ecstasy is so primitive.  Who needs a nervous break down?